A Christmas Tale to End the Season
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For our family Christmas party this year (the one involving my Mom and siblings—one family Christmas party of many), we conducted a neighborhood food drive to benefit the Utah Food Bank. We were aiming for a repeat of the year the homeless person crashed our party. Not a repeat of the event, of course, but of the mood and the lesson. It didn’t quite work out that way.
Two days before the party we distributed fliers in the neighborhood, telling people what we were doing and inviting them to leave donations in bags on their porches. That project was our first hint that the thing wasn’t going to go as planned. Boy 12 was pissy the whole time as we walked from door to door spreading Christmas good will with our fliers.
“Why do we have to do this?” he asked.
“Because it’s part of our party activity. We’re doing a food drive for-”
“I know, Dad.”
“Then what do you mean ‘Why’ if you already know?”
“It just ticks me off. It’s not that fun.”
What would you do with that invitation? Do you launch lecture #247: “This is the Time of Year When We Give and It’s Not Always About You and Sometimes We Do Things Because They’re Right, Even When We Don’t Want To?”
Do you silence him with a sharp, snarky retort? “Oh, then let’s cancel. ‘Sorry, hungry people. Bubba’s not having any fun, so we’re going to call it off. I hope next year you’ll have the good sense to go hungry at Disneyland so he doesn’t have to be bored during his charitable activities.’”
So many rich possibilities to choose from. So many, in fact, that I was utterly stumped—silenced by an overwhelming array of choices, kind of like when you go to Walgreens for cold medicine and there are 60 different varieties so you leave without anything. Mothered Five and I said nothing to Boy 12 humbugging in the back seat as we embarked on our quest to turn the hearts of the children away from themselves.
Maybe Boy 12 was prescient. When we walked the same beat two days later, only Mothered Five’s parents had left donated food on their porch (they live in the same neighborhood as my Mom). Maybe it was the timing: we were the third food drive in the space of two weeks. Maybe it’s the economy. Whatever the reason, our attempt to capture and spread a little Christmas Love fell flat. But maybe the lesson was not lost on the gaggle of my five and their many cousins. Yeah, that’s it. And maybe reindeer really know how to fly.
December 27th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Awwww, too bad such a good idea flopped. Well, you can’t win them all. What counts is your consistency over time, as you already know. Something to consider: food banks need help year round. Lots of people donate at Christmas, but what about a month later when we’ve all gone back to normal life and people are still in need? Perhaps a mid-winter donation effort, or other volunteer effort might accomplish more than one goal. You’d be setting the example and teaching your children to help others all the time and not just at Christmas, the organization/individual you help will benefit, and you may see more gratitude from someone who might have otherwise been forgotten.
December 27th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
These are great points, Amy. Maybe we’ll try it again in a couple of months. I read an article recently about how foodbanks are hurting amid sharply increased need.
December 27th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Because we have reversed seasons here, we often have charity drives in winter
It’s a shame more people didn’t help you out tho.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I’m with you, Joe - I would have been silenced with the options of reply… been in that situation a few times and somehow walked away with nothing.
As for the lesson for the partial clones… I’m sure they get it. Boy12 clearly understands it with the “It ticks me off. It’s not that fun” comment. He knows it needs to be done, but it is really that interesting to 12 year olds.
Perhaps you could have suggested that next year you do a morality drive for hollywood starlets. Maybe that’d be more fun? There’s more than enough people needing the donation, and it’d be interesting to say the least…
December 31st, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Happy New Year to you and your lovely ones, Joe. Looking forward to 2008 and seeing what comes from your keyboard as well as what opportunities may come where we could do some stuff together. Who knows?! My mob pray that 2008 is everything you and your family need it to be…
January 1st, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Thanks for the kind vibes, Molk. I would love to find a way to collaborate.
And I love the idea of a morality drive for starlots. I think Letterman was off to a good start with Paris Hilton here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koH0sDec2-k
Ouch. If those are his pulled punches, I pity the fool who goes into the ring with an ungloved Letterman.
January 1st, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Joe, you have my full admiration for getting off your proverbial and doing something for others. And then for drawing your kids into it. I think anything you do that fosters empathy in kids is worth the pain (and the fights and the complaints, etc etc).
I’d love you to reflect some more on what’s going on for Boy12 and what’s going on for Dad in this battle to raise a Great Man. There’s sure to be fresh thinking that’ll help the rest of us poor slobs.
Have an incredibly rich 2008! Have enjoyed your musings and research immensely!