Battles I Can’t Win
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Boy 4’s spot in the minivan is right behind the front passenger seat. I strapped him into his car seat tonight and headed home, Girl 2 in her car seat directly behind me. Three minutes after starting the drive, this:
Boy 4: Dad, I need a napkin.
I reached into the cubby, got him a napkin, and handed it back. No questions asked. 30 seconds later:
Boy 4: Dad, I need anuddo napkin.
Me: Where’s the one I gave you?
Boy 4: On duh flo’.
Me: Well, there aren’t anymore.
Boy 4: Yeah. Dey’re in duh g’ove box.
Me: No they’re not, I gave you the last one. I’m not getting another one for you to throw on the floor.
Boy 4: Okay, den I’m gonna wipe dis boog-o on duh window.
Me: No! Don’t! Hold on… [I reached down and found a used, wadded up tissue and handed it back to him (we share everything at Chez Five.] Here, use this. And hold on to it in case you need it again. And stop picking your nose.
[20-second pause]
Girl 2: Don’t pick wo nose, Wookie. Dat’s g’oss.
He wasn’t impressed. He was already asleep.
I don’t know if Boy 4’s comment about the window was a challenge or a mere statement of intent. I’m leaning toward the former. You won’t get me a napkin, huh? We’ll see. He’s four years old. Four! By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.
January 27th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Been there, done that. My four year old thinks it’s funny to wipe his nose pickings on our walls and me. I’m pulling my hair out.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:40 am
Luke has just discovered his finger fits up his nose…charming…
January 28th, 2008 at 7:33 am
On you, Bad Dad?! Sometimes you just have to wonder what on earth is passing through their heads.
Michelle, then it’s only a matter of time before he discovers there’s treasure up there.