If Children Took Out Personal Ads
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I have to admit to a bit of voyeuristic pleasure in reading the personal ads. How in the world do people extract the essence of what they’re looking for? That’s a lot of pressure for a few words to carry! “Hey, I’m looking for you. Are you looking for me? If you’re 30-40, financially established, and fun loving, dial me up at #235521. FSMTBRNS.” And I know the code at the end means something. I just don’t know what it is. Do you need a decoder ring or something to decipher it?
My sister met her lifelong partner through an online personals service, so I guess they work for some people. If I were somehow thrown back into the dating shark pool, I think I’d go with a personal ad. It would be really short, though, because what do you say? Everything seems inadequate. “I’m 40 and looking. Oh yeah, I’m male. Seeking female.”
I know, I know: I’m overthinking it. Kids don’t have that problem. If they took out personal ads for parents, they would probably have no trouble deciding what they wanted. Here’s what I imagine my five might write:
Boy 7: A dad without computer rules.
Girl 15: Auditions will last a week. I’ll know what you’re like by how you treat my Mom. Don’t get comfortable.
Boy 4: Play puzzles!
Girl 2: Where’s my blankie?
Boy 12: Wanted: a Dad who likes dogs and video games and cars and has a big house and large-screen TV.
Fathers.com conducted a survey of what daughters want at one of their recent Father-Daughter summits. The big winner? Listening. “Listen when I need you to. You don’t have to have the right answers all the time; just be there for me.”
“Don’t talk, don’t argue, just listen.”
“I need him to completely hear me out and not assume things … to listen before he speaks.”
Kids make it sound so easy.
