Why You Must Read Meg Meeker’s Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
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“We need every ounce of masculine courage and wit you own, because fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter’s life.”
—Meg Meeker, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters
It’s been a while since Girl 15 lit up when I walked into the room. She used to! Really, it’s true. And not as long ago as you might think. I mean, every dad is a hero to his little girl of 2-5. But I was displaced by her friends when she was about 12. I’m not saddened by this: I see it as an inevitable part of growing up.
Maybe that’s why Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is impacting me the way it is. I find myself tearing up for no good reason while reading it, which is a bit unsettling. Louann Brizendine’s book, The Female Brain, gave me some inclination about how important parents and other adults are to developing daughters, but Meg Meeker’s outstanding book focuses on fathers, and WOW. Here are some excerpts from the Introduction:
Most of you out there are good men as well, but you are good men who have been derided by a culture that does not care for you, that, in terms of the family, has ridiculed your authority, denied your importance, and tried to fill you with confusion about your role. But I can tell you that fathers change lives, as my father changed mine. You are natural leaders, and your family looks to you for qualities that only fathers have. You were made a man for a reason, and your daughter is looking to you for guidance that she cannot get from her mother.
I’m thinking of Homer Simpson, Al Bundy (”Married with Children”), and I’m sure there are others but I don’t watch much TV.
Dads, you are for more powerful than you think you are. My goal in writing this book is to show you how to use your power to improve your life with your daughter, and by doing so to make your life remarkably richer, more rewarding, and more beneficial to those you love. The concepts presented in teh following pages are profoundly simple. But we all know how difficult it is to implement simple truths. We know that we should love better. Or be more patient. Or be more courageous, or diligent, or faithful. But can we?
Strong words, huh? And Meeker’s just getting started. The book is subtitled, “10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.” Here are the secrets, each with its own chapter:
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Click on the image and buy the book if only for the reason that it counteracts pop culture’s message of stupid, uninvolved dads. Does Meeker overstate the case? I’ll let you know when I finish the book.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Oh, my goodness. This is such an important topic! Not having read the book I’ll still vote NO that she’s not overstating her case. Parents, and fathers/men in particular face such an uphill battle in today’s culture (wars). Take a look at many of the popular shows available for the 8-10 year old set, and you’ll find that parents are either non-existent or stupid. If it’s stupid, then the father is always the dumbest. We’ve taken to turning the TV off most of the time. Even watching home improvement shows where they show a couple working on projects is often a bad idea. Too many women are shown berating the stupid man who keeps making mistakes. I don’t want my boys to think that they are going to be useless with nothing but mistakes to contribute to the world, and that women exist only to yell at them. I’m real glad you found the book. Let us know what you think when you finish!
September 6th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
I agree with you about the shows, AmyL. Can you (or anyone) think of a current TV show with a positive father figure? As I said, I don’t watch much TV so I’m not really qualified to say there aren’t any. I’m wondering whether she overstates her case simply because the book is full of superlatives: the most, the first, the biggest, and so on. I’m suspicious of all unqualified superlatives. So far, though, she is supporting her points very well and documents all claims and studies. It’s really a great book.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
[…] particularly important in my mind due to the book I’m currently reading: Meg Meeker’s Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. She devotes a chapter to the risks of sexual behavior and the irresponsible pop culture that is […]
September 6th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
You da man, Joe, you da man! No one can take your place .
September 6th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
My baby girl is only 6 months old, and I already have my application in for a gun licence so that I have get that shotgun and have it ready.
I recognise there is so much to learn about the constantly changing playing field that is fatherhood. Just when you work out how your 2 year old works they’re 4 and the rules have changed. And so it goes.
Keep dropping these breadcrumbs for me Joe… I’m right behind you…
September 6th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
Well stated, Molk. And not only do you have to learn again when your kids grow older, but you have to also learn anew with each kid because you can hand down clothes and mattresses, but parenting strategies are not necessarily transferable!
Here are some more bread crumbs from Meeker’s book, all with citation to the original study drawing the conclusion:
“Toddlers securely attached to fathers are better at solving problems”
“Six month old babies score higher on tests of mental development if their dads are involved in their lives.”
“Girls whose fathers provide warmth and control achieve higher academic stress.”
“Girls who are close to their fathers exhibit less anxiety and withdrawn behaviors.”
Is that intimidating? I’m intimidated. Lots of room to screw up here.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Me?! Intimidated?!
You betcha. MORE responsibility I never dreamed of, but so glad to have…
September 7th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
As the eldest daughter of five (all girls!), I definitely attribute many of the best parts of my childhood (and my life in general, I’m only 25, still a kid!) to my dad. Always my hero, and the smartest man I know. He was blessed to have a terrific father himself.
Next month, my sister is marrying a man who, after working with him on our farm, I recognize as having many of our dad’s attributes. I am beyond happy that he will be part of our family!
We five girls are strong, independent women thanks to both our father and mother!
September 12th, 2007 at 9:00 am
[…] hard it is to talk to kids about sex—especially daughters. But thanks to Meg Meeker’s book, Strong Fathers Strong Daughters, I recently had an epiphany and now understand that, while there are uncomfortable moments, the […]
October 5th, 2007 at 10:04 am
[…] Meg Meeker puts it this way, and I think she’s spot on: Where many fathers miss the mark is during adolescence. We’ve all been trained to believe that teens are “impossible.” Adolescence, we’re told, is normal and healthy, even if your daughter goes through a period of being moody, obnoxious, and out of control. You just have to “give her space.” […]