She’s Dating. She’s Dating a Lot.
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I wrote some time ago about how not to talk to your daughter about sex. Girl 16 was 15 then, and so not technically “dating.” But in Mormon culture, 16 is the magical age at which teenagers are allowed to date. She turned 16 back in February and hasn’t slowed down since.
I expected not to care about who she dated. No, that’s not entirely accurate. It didn’t occur to me that I would care. But I’m as invested as I was when, as a kid, I watched from the bushes as our yutz of a neighbor opened his door to our flaming bag of poo! (oh please oh please oh please!) That caring is evolving from anxiety to interest and confidence in her ability to make smart decisions.
There was the guy on whom she cut her dating teeth. Nice enough kid. There was the cellist she met at a wedding with whom she obsessively texted over a long four days and who is the reason we will not have texting on our phones. (Dads, read your kids’ text messages! This ballsack actually texted her after they’d met once: “I’m a great kisser. You’re in for a whole new experience when I kiss you.” And also, “I like to walk behind you so I can watch your butt.”) There’s the prom king, rife with social capital, and whose parents called us to enlist our help in enforcing their standards. (I’m all for standards, but I resent being called upon to babysit someone else’s 17-year-old.)
Girl 16 and I have not discussed that subject again, except for when we came close to it regarding the cellist. I told her I didn’t like him, didn’t trust him, and that I thought he’s just out to see how much he could get from her, and that she would be allowed to see him only once per week and then only if it was a double date. He never called back. She was glad.
So, although we haven’t discussed sex and making out and other things outright, I think the door to talking about it is still open. It will be easy now because nothing could be more uncomfortable than my first awkward attempt. (But what I really hope is that, if the door is open, Her Hotness will walk through it while I’m at work.)
June 30th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Will you worry as much about your sons?
July 1st, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I’m hoping that today’s young teenage boys at least come in and meet the parents.
My wife’s niece goes out with boys who text her when they pull up outside the house.
Can you believe that, they can’t get off their butts and walk to the door, ring the bell and say hello.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:14 pm
@ Samson: No.
@ Roland: Wow. The kid that tries that with Girl 16 is the kid who never takes her out again.
Look at me, talking tough. I realize I have less control than I think I do. But I’m going to keep thinking it.