The clueless syndrome
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Catch me at any random moment of parenting and you can read my mind by what’s painted on my face: stupor. Befuddlement. Daze. Cluelessness. Call it what you will, it’s what inevitably descends on men as we take on a role for which there’s no preparation this side of Nirvana, and on the other side only if it’s true that there’s a bright light and a moment of clarity when we suddenly get it.
I live in a perpetual state of confusion when it comes to kids. I understand physical needs—food on the table, a roof. Those things I can handle. But beyond that, I confess I’m dumber than a box o’ rocks. At least I’m in good company. Freaked Out Fathers gets at the same idea with his on-the-money post, 5 Reasons Why Parenthood is a Difficult to Navigate for Keepers of the Y-Chromosone. Here’s a sample. Go read the whole thing.
1. Emotional unintelligence: …Parenthood pushes our anger and anxiety buttons and we often don’t know why.
2. A man’s home was once his castle: Now it’s overrun by barbarians…
3. The Call of the Wild: … As a male, I prefer self-indulgence to the self-denial that raising children asks of me.
4. It’s Counter-cultural: … We are told we need to pull our weight and yet our role models are Homer Simpson, Ray Barone, James Bond and every entrepreneur who made it rich at the expense of a private life.
5. The Discomfort Zone: Marriage (in all its forms, de facto or whatever) was hard enough to navigate but parenthood is one of those roles where expertise is nigh on impossible.
Hear, hear Freaked Out Fathers, o wise one!
July 25th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Thanks for the link my friend.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:16 am
[…] a passing fad. (Fine soapbox to stand on, I know, for someone who’s compared himself not just once, but twice to Homer Simpson. Hey, I never said those silly pop culture models don’t […]